tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62756899336938163432024-02-08T02:40:07.273-08:00Walk with ChristAnthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-25545707341765547812017-10-21T14:36:00.005-07:002017-10-22T05:09:44.914-07:00Jesus lives<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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'Jesus lives' is a long
testimony of how I encountered Jesus recently. It has happened time and again,
ever since I kept my heart and mind open to HIM. My only request to all those
reading this, whether you believe or not, whether you agree with me or not,
give some time to read it. And then share it. Because, you never know who else needs
that little grace of HIS to be lifted up and be healed, just like I did.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 8, 2017: My family was in Chennai. My wife and I had
an appointment with the US consulate to stamp our visas. All our paperwork was
perfect. It should have had no issues. But, then my fears came true in a very
extraordinary way. My wife got her visa stamped without any questions. But,
mine was put on hold for administrative processing. Interestingly, this process
was like a blackbox. Nobody could find out what was happening about me until I
heard of the conclusion. The worst of it was that it had no time frame. I was
not required to provide anything more than the application I had already
provided. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not question. So, while
my wife was almost in tears, I walked out happy because GOD had already
provided. When we went on our journey, we risked our entire assets in GOD’s
hands. If both our visas were denied for any reason, we would lose everything
we had. GOD had answered our prayers. He had provided for my wife to return
back and take care of things. But, I did not understand what HIS plan for me
was. What did HE want me to do? I was bitter, but, for the first time in my
life, I did not lose my cool. I decided to wait and watch. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 26, 2017: Our flight was scheduled for August 28,
2017. And I had not heard about my visa approval even with the help of our
local senator and friends. So, we took the hard decision. My wife and 6 year
old daughter would keep their tickets. We decided that my 3 year old son would
stay with me and come with me when my visa would get approved. Of course, there
was a big question of, if at all get approved. But, I thought it would be easy.
It would not be</div>
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<br />
August 27, 2017: It was just another day before my family
would be split into half. We always did things together. I could not hold back
my tears. But, I had to. I had made up my mind that I would give it one year to
live without my family. Somehow, that was the way I was trying to console
myself in my mind. I wanted a countdown so that I could get to the date that we
could get back together if the situation was the worst. The one good thing I
did. I never questioned Jesus. I kept asking HIM, ‘What is your plan for us?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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August 28, 2017: The day had come. The car was ready for all
of us to get to the airport. It was to be a 2 hour journey. I wished that it
would take forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, as we travelled
through the busy city of Bangalore, it was getting very very close for my
comfort. And my dear Noah had not known what was happening. He thought he was
travelling back home that he loved. His school was starting in a weeks time. He
was excited. So, we came to the airport and we decided to buy time by stopping
for a snack. But, that too got over and now it was getting late. My heart was
swelling up in tears. And there was a crowd around me. None of us wanted to
call time. I had to. And I did by asking my wife and daughter to go inside for
security. And then all hell broke loose. Noah just could not split from them. He
wanted to go in and go home. And we kept crying and hugging each other. Until
again it was upto me to call time and give the orders. And as my family was
split up, where we could see them, but could not touch, I had another role to
do. I had to make Noah laugh. So, I did as I knew how he would crack up. I was
thankful that my parents were with us. I wonder how it would have been for the
two of us to get back. So, we took the bus. Noah thought we were travelling to
Trumbull, CT on the bus. He had amazingly calmed down. That calmed me too. But,
I had questions to Jesus. “Please tell me, what is your plan for me? For us?” “What
next?”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My wife
and daughter reached Connecticut. And then in the next few days, they found
amazing neighbours, who helped them in every way possible. God had answered one
question of mine. “Would my family be cared in my absence?” Atleast my
neighbours did. That was a consolation. But, something else happened. On Aug
29, 2017, it was 11.30AM. And suddenly, I decided, I would go for the afternoon
mass with Noah. I told him that the only way we could get tickets to CT was if
Jesus would make it happen. He agreed. And what a beautiful mass, what a
beautiful sermon. It was about GOD’s love even when we forget HIM. And Noah was
so loud with his prayers and singing that the priest mentioned him in his
sermon as to how everybody should pray like him, loudly. He even got a candy
from an aunty he did not know. It seemed people who did not know us had started
to pray for us. I felt good. I felt confident. I could see so many people
praying for us. I had not felt like this before. I became positive. So, Noah
and me started to go to mass everyday. Everyday a beautiful reading and a
meaningful sermon. This privilege is not there in the masses I attend in the US
most times. I wonder why? </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </div>
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I
started seeing GOD’s plan. First, I realized that the reason Noah was with me
was not because he needed me. But, I needed him. His innocence, his love for me
was totally honest. His questions were brutal to listen to. He would point to
an auto or a bus and ask me why we were not taking them to get to CT. And I had
to answer him so that he was satisfied and be happy for the day. But, I was
afraid of another question of his. He started asking me why Jesus was taking
time to get him his tickets. And I told him that Jesus had already listened to
him. But, the man who was not giving tickets was taking his time. He needed to
listen to Jesus. And then I started a little prayer to Jesus. I realized that
this situation was going to be a huge one for Noah and Claire’s faith in Jesus.
Ever since they were born, we constantly talked to them about Jesus answering
their prayers. So, this was a test. Would Jesus answer their prayers? I was
sure he would. What I was not sure, the people who needed to be transformed in
order for this to happen. The world has taken such a turn for worse.</div>
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September 1, 2017: The long labor day weekend was here. We
went for the 12 noon mass that day too. At 11 30, I just checked for an update
on my visa. Nothing had changed. So, after coming home from another beautiful
mass at St. Anthony’s friary, I checked the status at around 3 PM. Something
had changed at 12 noon. My status had been updated. I was excited. So, I woke
up my wife in CT. It was late night, but I would not wait. She was excited too.
But, then my 6 year old Claire came to me and spoke something that struck me
straight in my heart. She had woken up from deep sleep and when she heard that
my visa status page had been updated (it was not yet approved), she went and
got her bible and read out to me something about Abraham and his faith in GOD
and how he did not hesitate when GOD asked him for Isaac’s sacrifice. I was
amazed. It was about 1AM in CT and here was my girl telling me about the bible.
But, what she said to me told me something else. We have all read about Abraham’s
faith and what he did that day. But, what was Isaac doing or saying? That is
not written in the text. I reflected. My little Noah was Isaac. Noah could have
been in CT with mom and sis. But, he sacrificed for me. But, each moment after,
he was so diligent and faithful to everything I told him to believe. This was
an amazing moment for me. I had always heard about Bible being a living book.
Now, I saw why? I now waited for the next working day, Sep 5, 2017. I hoped
that a decision on my visa would be done and our ordeal would be over. But,
when I googled as to what the status change meant, I found information that it
may mean nothing. Some people had waited in such a situation for months and
months with multiple status changes. That would be torture. All of this made me
realize how slaves are treated. I was going through it, even though my family
and I had done everything according to the law. But, then it also started to
dawn on me as to why our family was going through all of this.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Sunday before we left for India,
I heard in the sermon a real story. My priest confessed that he was distraught
that he was unable to help an illegal immigrant because he could not take the
courageous step of going by the bible, which may be contrary to the diocese and
the government. It was amazing that he professed his guilt. It was an honest
admission and the reality of our lives and the church and the government too.
On August 8, 2017, when my ordeal began and when our senator was unable to help
other than to contact the consulate for information, I got a message from our
church. I do not remember if it was the bulletin or a email that was passed
around by the Men’s ministry group that I was part of. It was a victorious
message about how a movement initiated by some in our church was able to halt
an illegal immigrant from being deported from the US and split up from her
family. I had on that day felt hope about my own pastors and the church helping
my family and me. So, I enquired. I got prayers. When my wife returned and went
back to church that Sunday without Noah and myself, I hoped that many would
walk up and do something. After all, everything we had done was by the law. It
did not happen. A couple of wonderful friends did sympathize. And when she
revealed this to me, I started to look at GOD’s plan in different light.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Why did my family go through this
ordeal? The answer was that Jesus was asking us to bring to the notice of our
community the plight of millions of people who are being persecuted and who
have no voice. And we accepted the cross he wanted us to carry. We could have
felt safe by not doing anything and stay back without going home. We would have
been spared our ordeal. But, the community and the church we live in would not
have known what Jesus wanted them to stand for. I was so glad Jesus had chosen
us and this sad, heart wrenching ordeal had taken a whole new meaning. I was
filled with fire of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. There was nothing to be fearful.
There was a lot of pride.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
September 5, 2017: Noah and me went to mass at 12 noon. And
again at 3PM, I checked the status. Lo, behold. It was all done. My visa had
been approved. Noah was on top of the world. His prayers had been answered. And
his whole perspective changed. The beauty about this episode was that many many
people whom we had not known had seen how this little child would loudly pray
for his needs in the church. I earnestly hoped that it would inspire somebody
else. </div>
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September 15, 2017: We landed at the JFK airport. Everything
was smooth. And we were all so ecstatic. We were also tired. But, a lot of
backlogs had to be met. But, we were so glad that we were now together in Noah’s
favourite Trumbull home.</div>
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<br />
As life got back to normal, we looked forward to our next
main event. It was a 2 day <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>retreat
organized by our prayer group members in New Jersey. I had felt in India that
we may be missing out on this. But, GOD had made a way. So, we accepted to be
part of the music ministry. I was comfortable doing it as I was in the choir in
the churches for a long time. This time it would be special to sing praises o
GOD. We had seen his amazing work in our lives. But, then something else was in
my mind. Ever since I started to go to everyday mass in India during my ordeal
and realized GOD’s plan, I started getting visions about speaking about our
ordeal to others. I even tried to find avenues in Indian prayer groups, but
people ignored my suggestions. They simply did not want to hear my story. These
were my own people, who were so devoted to GOD’s work. They had no time for my
story. But, then the opportunity came. The organizer of this retreat was
seeking people to give their testimonies for the retreat. I did not hesitate.
But, as the day of the retreat came near, I did not prepare my testimony
because of all the many things I was involved in every day. So, a couple of
days before the retreat, I found some time and I wrote through the testimony.
But, when I read it through, it was extremely hard hitting and bitter. I realized
I was bitter, unforgiving and revengeful. There were many people who I thought
were responsible for my family going through this ordeal. Some were part of my
prayer group too. Infact, very very close friends built a
wall because of the politics of faith for the past 1 year. </div>
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<br /></div>
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September 30, 2017: I had worked until late the previous
night to finish up my work before going to the retreat. So, as we drove to New
Jersey from Connecticut, I was totally blank. And although I was supposed to
give my testimony the next day, I was not sure I had any time for prepare. I
knew that I had written a very bitter testimony and I knew Jesus did not want
me to speak that. As we entered the retreat hall, I looked around and found 2 gentlemen,
John and Tony, who were new to me that were going to co-ordinate the music for
the retreat. They were getting ready and we joined in. As the retreat started,
atleast until lunch, I was very happy that I was singing. But, for some reason,
I was not fully into the retreat. It was also because I was very tired. So, at
lunch time, I went out to the beautiful St. Joseph’s Shrine park with my book
that I had written my testimony. There were lots of beautiful places to pray
and meditate. I went to Mother Mary’s statue and I read my testimony after
praying. But, I was unable to tone down the bitterness in my testimony. Then,
in the afternoon session of the retreat, it was all about repentance and
forgiveness. It was then that something touched my heart. And as we prayed and
sang, I felt peace coming into me. I started feeling the experience of the retreat
that I had hoped for. So, when we got to the tea break, I again went out to the
park. This time, I went to the cross. I knelt and prayed just one thing. I told
Jesus to help me with my testimony. I told HIM that it was bitter. I asked HIM
to heal me so that I could touch others with my testimony. I told HIM that I
wanted HIM to speak through me.</div>
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And then, we finished with the sessions. It was pack up
time. My wife started preparing the youth of our group to do the Praise and
Worship the next day. It was to happen at the same session where I was to
present my testimony. And then we went to the retreat house with a lot of
people to have our dinner and sleep. I knew time was precious. So, I did not
speak much. I just ate my dinner and ran back to my room to be alone so that I could
work on my testimony.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I just took a
pen and started to write. What I wrote was about the very same incidences, but,
the words were so different. My bitter tone had changed to the one of love,
caring and leading. There was no doubt about the magic of Jesus. The reason was
I had given it up to HIM. And then I started to see the signs.<br />
</div>
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October 1, 2017: The first session started with an amazing
Praise and Worship session by the youth. These were the very youth I felt would
not rise up to the situation. There was some magic working in that retreat
hall. And it was for me to feel and realize it. The best part was that the
theme of that session fell perfectly into my testimony. The question was
whether I could deliver it the way Jesus wanted it. So, when I stepped up, to
my surprise, I had found a new voice, a new fire. I never looked at what I had
written. And when I had finished I was so peaceful. And then when people
started walking up to me and speaking to me about the testimony, about their
own lives where they had faced situations parallel to what I had spoken, I knew
Jesus had spoken through me. But, the best was yet to happen.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </div>
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The
retreat was beautiful. I was so touched and with fire. I had no hesitation
whatsoever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been healed. And as we
wound up late in the evening, I was sad that it had ended. I wanted more. So,
as we were packing up and saying goodbye, somebody walked upto me to speak. It
was John. He had played the keyboards for 2 days. And I had seen him stand up
more than anyone at the retreat. He had seemed a shy and mild spoken person. He
was a beautiful keyboard player. But, we had not spoken for 2 days apart from
the music. And because they did not belong to our prayer group, there was no
way we would have kept in touch if he had not walked up that moment. And he
quietly revealed that he was touched by my testimony. I felt good about hearing
it from him. I was on fire and I told him a lot of things in just a couple of
minutes about how I had seen Jesus worked in my life. While I don’t want to
reveal one of the things he told me that he was looking to hear from Jesus, I
realized he was emotional. But, I didn’t know him. And as our conversation went
on, he suddenly told me “ I lost my wife<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>last year”. And that moment, while I was still speaking to him and
hoping to find consoling words, in my mind I realized how tiny my ordeal was.
What I had gone through was nothing compared to probably what John had gone through.
I was very sad that I would not have time to spend with him and know him and
console him. I immediately told my wife. And after we said goodbye, as we were
driving, John kept coming to our minds. What was Jesus trying to tell? </div>
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So, the next day, my wife sent me a link that I would like
all of you to read.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://everylifecounts.ndtv.com/lost-wife-rare-disease-changed-14618" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">https://everylifecounts.ndtv.com/lost-wife-rare-disease-changed-14618</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And my whole perspective changed.
Jesus was pointing me to a very special person of his in John. He was pointing
me towards a mission. He was pointing me to somebody who had taken a moment of
extreme pain and converted it into a lifelong mission of love, service and
music. And the beauty of John’s story and his wife Merlyn, who passed away on
October 17, 2016 should be in his own beautiful words. So, here is a link that
he sent to some of us. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4vXkkjgy-A" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4vXkkjgy-A</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But, the beauty of Jesus’ message
which is reflected in John’s message about Merlyn is amazing. When I stepped on
the podium on the day of the retreat to speak my testimony, my theme was very
simple. I wanted everyone to know through my testimony that Jesus lives. Not
just on Easter Sunday, but each and every other day. But, the beauty of John’s
message is that Merlyn lives too, not just for John, but for all of us. The
reason being that Jesus gave each one of us the beautiful gift of resurrection.
And that is what I realize that we fail to understand each and every day. That
HE is alive in each one of us. And so is each one of those people who have gone
away from us. We are very accustomed to accepting Jesus being crucified and
while we accept resurrection, it is a mystery and a ritual that is best kept
for Easter Sunday. I hope through this testimony of mine and John’s, we could
start to bring the living Jesus into our lives and to others. Because the world
needs it most right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Amen</span></div>
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Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-47618496409995129422017-07-10T18:00:00.001-07:002017-07-10T18:00:20.625-07:00The miracle of the little cauliflower plant<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Having enjoyed gardening this summer, here is the miracle of
the cauliflower plant. Its interesting that the Bible starts with GOD creating
man and a woman in the garden of Eden. And just before Jesus is captured, he
spends time in the garden of Gethsamane. And he tells a number of parables
regarding the seeds, trees, the farmers, etc. Its safe to assume that garden is
a place where one may find GOD and his deeds. For real? I did.</div>
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Nearly 45 days ago, I visited the Home Depot garden center
looking for plants for our garden. And I decided to test out the cauliflower
plants. So, I picked out a set of 6 plants with 4 leaves each. A couple of days
later, I prepared pots and started transferring them into 6 pots. Then, I
realized that one of them was broken right at the tip. All that was left of it
was the roots and a single leaf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could
well have thrown it away and been happy with 5 cauliflowers this year. But,
then I would have missed out on a lifetime miracle. So, I planted the broken
plant thinking that in a few days it would just rot and I would just put in
another plant. Days passed and the other 5 plants grew bigger. The 4 little
leaves wilted and dried as they had bigger and newer leaves and I waited for
the cauliflowers. A week ago I saw the little cauliflower in all the 5 good
plants. I felt great. Then, I looked for the little cauliflower plant and I
still found that one leaf standing firm. That plant had lived for nearly 40
days and I continued to water and care for it the same way I did for others.
Many a time, I did think about throwing it away. I knew that there was no hope
for any cauliflower. The tip had broken. There was no chance for this plant.
But, somehow, I never got down to pulling it out and throwing it away. And the
plant with that little leaf just refused to die away on its own either.</div>
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Well, July 9<sup>th</sup> was approaching. Little Claire’s
birthday was close. And we were also celebrating my dad’s secret 75<sup>th</sup>
birthday. We had planned a little party and I had to welcome guests. I needed a
theme for my welcome. I was not getting it. So, on July 7<sup>th</sup>, I
walked around in the garden and I was rearranging my pots. And I came to the
little plant in the pot. Before I saw it, I planned to throw away everything
that was not good because I wanted the garden to look pretty for the party. So,
this time I was determined that this little plant should go. And then I looked
into the pot. And there I found my miracle.</div>
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<br /></div>
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What I found were 4 little cauliflower plants emerging out
from the soil. There was no chance this could have happened. I am a botanist by
the way. So, I know my science too. A cauliflower plant can only have one
cauliflower. And it grows from the tip. I was so ecstatic. I showed my little
kids and they were amazed. And we talked about what it meant. That’s when I
realized the beauty of the miracle and the gardens in the bible. I drew many
conclusions. The one I used in the party was that the little leaf represented
my father. His 75 yrs, where many a time he was a lonely leaf. But, he had hung
on. And then his perseverance had taken fruit. And we were now celebrating his
75<sup>th</sup> birthday with his lovely grand kids. </div>
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But, I want to go beyond it. The little plant represented our
faiths too sometimes. They are tiny and shaky, sometimes completely
insignificant. But, if we hang on, look how GOD, the gardener tends to us. He
gives fruits aplenty. This little plant also represents each of our lives too.
Sometimes, we are the leaf and somebody else is the gardener who tends to us,
keeps us alive. Sometimes, we need to be the gardener for somebody else who is
hanging on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Frankly, its been 3 days
since I realized this miracle in my garden. But, there is one reality that I
just can’t stop admiring. That little leaf. It kept that plant going. It didn’t
fade away, no matter what. This story will live on forever in me. But, I want
to share it with as many people I can. Because we all need miracles. And we don’t
realize many a time that they don’t happen anymore. They do. They are probably
right out there in the garden. And I am looking for the next one. Are you?</div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-54380102169344469922017-04-22T09:28:00.001-07:002017-04-22T09:28:56.682-07:00The sacrifice Jesus would love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The lent was over last weekend. It had been an interesting 40
days. Personally, it was filled with anxiety, despair, anger and otherwise
busy. So, now that Jesus was risen from the dead, it was probably time to
relax. But, the emotions remained the same because living circumstances never
changed. So, I just happened to ask my 5 yr old Claire, this Friday afternoon
if she knew what sacrifice was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said
“Yes Daddy”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her to tell me an
example in her own words so that I could understand what she had understood
about sacrifice. She fumbled to put her thoughts together. So, she asked me to
give her an example. I told her to imagine that if I was driving near a mall on
a Friday afternoon with $10 in my pocket and
the theater was playing a movie I loved to see. I had 2 choices. One, to watch the movie with the 10 dollars. On the other hand, those 10$ could
buy 3 cans of milk for my kids. And given the uncertainties of our jobs, that
would mean those 10$ could mean 3 weeks of milk supply. And as a parent that would be a
kind of sacrifice I needed to do consistently. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My 2 yr old Noah was playing around and he
kept asking what we were talking about. I explained to him and moved on with
Claire because she was ready with her answer. She said that if she would see a
pizza and wanted to have it, she would sacrifice it. I challenged her a little
further. I told her that it was more of resisting a temptation rather than a
deep sacrifice. “Think of another example”. And immediately she said “If I were
to see a very nice art kit in the mall and would want to pick it up. But, I won’t.
Because we have so much art supplies lying around at home. So, I would wait till I had
used all the art supplies at home before looking out for one”. I immediately
took the opportunity to tell her that she had got the point very well. I told her that’s
what businesses do all the time. That’s their job. Keep tempting us into buying things we probably don't need. And we need to think of those who are not as privileged and see
what we could do for them. And then I was all happy with this conversation
thinking that in spite of the amazing strife in my mind, I was able to talk
about an important subject calmly to my 5 yr old. My 2 yr old was playing
around and I thought he must have had no idea of what we were talking about. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then we moved on with our day. And I had
no idea of what was to come.</div>
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The next day, which was a Saturday, I settled down after a
cup of tea to get on with my project. And then in a little while both my kids
came to me. The 2 yr old had a 1$ note in his hand and the 5 yr old had a 5$ note.
They had been saving money in their piggy bank whenever they did an excellent
job. And they are amazing. My 2 yr old gave me the 1$ and said “Here dad. We
have lot of money in the piggy bank. This is for you.” The 5yr old quipped “ Daddy, you buy so
many things for us. The next time you buy something, use that 1$”. And then she
went to mommy who was busy getting breakfast ready and said that she was
putting the 5 dollars in the box where she was saving some of her money for
poor children. </div>
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First of all, I was all teared up. And then what had started
out as a lesson for the kids had turned out to be a lesson for me. Grown-ups
have a lot of moral stories to tell in theory. But when it comes to putting them in
practice, we wait for the next chance to execute. What my little ones did this Saturday
morning was exactly put the WORD into action. And the risen Lord Jesus must
have been absolutely proud. No doubt why Jesus loved kids. </div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-28357895574421950082016-12-21T05:20:00.002-08:002016-12-21T05:20:34.212-08:00Merry Blessed Christmas <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Everywhere its lights and decorations; its Santa's and his reindeer; of course, how can I forget the snowman; and many many plans to a
wonderful fantasy world lies in wait. Yes, there is no denying that X’mas is
here for many. It’s time to relax, de-stress and fun before getting back to the
routines. It’s also time for gifts and plenty of them. It’s also important time
for the many resolutions to make. A question keeps getting asked as if it’s
just part of X’mas as to what would make this season wonderful and meaningful.
And then we move on because we already have a long list of desires to keep. But,
something bothers me and I keep hearing this question over and over again. “How
do you want your Christmas to be?” And I have realized over the years that
there is a big difference between X’mas and Christmas. And I have forever
wanted to only celebrate Christmas. And each year I have learnt exactly how to
bring merry Christmas to heart. Little by little and now I am looking forward
for my 2016 Christmas, just a few days ahead. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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The story of learning about the real meaning of Christmas
has been a long one. Well, for a long long time, it has meant to prepare for
that midnight mass, to find some special clothes to dazzle, bring out <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that wonderful smile to literally stick on my
lips no matter how grave the situation is and then it’s all done for the night
with the many hugs and kisses to everybody around, known and unknown. The next
stop is the amazing five course meal on the 25<sup>th</sup>, with all the guests
coming in and having an awesome time. And then, it’s all over. It’s time for
fun and relaxation. </div>
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All that changed a few years ago, when I was all alone at
Christmas. I did invite a lot of people and everybody had a place to go but
mine. All I could do was call family and friends back home and then wait for the
next day to come. This continued even after marriage when my wife and I would
have that empty feeling on Christmas day. Empty roads and silence filled our
Christmas day. And luckily for us the fantasy world did not appeal. So, we did
not make it to the malls or any other place where some fantasy would fill our
Christmas day. </div>
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Then, it changed. We had our little baby. We were under
pressure now as parents to introduce Christmas to our little girl. That first
Christmas of hers, we started to make a plan a month in advance. It was a
desperate plan because we could not fail on this one. And for starters, we
started making a nativity from scratch and it filled the entire room by the
time Christmas arrived. And she would sit in awe in front of it and learn about
each tiny blade of grass. Most importantly, through her learning, I recognized
the power of a babe in a manger. Every day from Christmas day onward, we would
invite a family or friend for either supper or lunch and spend time with our
little one. And the ones who would accept to come home were someone who had
nobody to go to that day. And we were so glad that we shared that beautiful day
with them. And this tradition has carried on and we have been very proud that
what started as simple act of making it a lively Christmas for our little ones
has turned out to be a tradition of laying out the best for that “Babe in the
manger” and sharing that joy with someone else. But, in all that happiness, I
still had that question, “Have you done enough this Christmas?” And I could not
put my finger on a satisfactory answer until 2015. </div>
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2015 was an amazing year. I am not being sarcastic because I
still needed to find a job after almost 2 yrs. But, I had two wonderful kids
and an ever loving wife. I also had wonderful wishes from family back home in
India. I also loved being the family dad running around doing errands for my
kids and family rather than being the grumpy stressed out, ‘leave me alone’ head
of the house. I also enjoyed the wonderful mass at St. Jerome where I was part
of an amazing choir and my little angelic daughter was in the Christmas pageant
playing Angel. And then my Christmas got more amazing than ever because of a
homeless man across our street, sitting in the park all alone no matter what the
weather was. My Christmas became the most amazing because our family shared our
Christmas hot meal with Kevin, a homeless person right across the street,
sitting on the bench, cold and frozen, looking at empty roads with nobody
driving around. We had seen him since May. I had even gone and sat down with
him and tried to find him a shelter to stay. But, he refused and frustrated me.
He had a wonderful home and a decent job until one fine day he along with his
two brothers was thrown out of the home as it foreclosed. His brothers had
found a shelter where they could stay at night, but Kevin refused. And he said
the reason was that he did not want to mix with the character of people that
came there. He wanted to stay along as pure as he could as long as he could
hang on. I was amazed by his single minded dedication to do it day in and day
out. And he never wanted anything. He even refused when we put together a set
of things that we thought he may need. It hurt me when he refused. He was the
homeless and had nothing. And he still had the audacity to refuse. And he always
said something that has stuck with me. He always said that he had no doubt he
would survive because there were many good, wonderful people around. One day, I
was rushing to give him some breakfast. And I saw a truck stop by. There was
this mechanic who got down and walked up to Kevin with a couple of cups of
Coffee and bagels and some sandwich. He offered all to Kevin. And it was cold
that morning. And Kevin smilingly refused everything except a little sandwich.
And I wished that mechanic as I was fighting tears in my eyes at the scene that
was unfolding. Kevin later told me that many many people stopped by and
therefore he was always full. And he had no place to keep. So, he had to
refuse. What amazed me was that the only thing he probably needed was a
shelter. And interestingly enough, he was refusing that too. He was not tempted
with anything. We, as a family were desperate. We made a few calls to see if
somebody could help. Everybody had a suggestion and it seemed he could get into
a shelter in no time. But, something kept Kevin out with nature. I offered to
drive him to the shelter and ensure he was safe and all his concerns had been
met. Still, with a very simple smile, he told me that he did not want it right
now. I started wondering if I was bothering him and was worried he would leave
his safe haven in that park because of me. So, I stopped bothering him until
that Christmas day although I kept looking out for him. Days he wasn’t there
filled me with fear as well as hope. I feared something bad had happened, yet,
I hope he had made up his mind and gone to a shelter. But, then he would return
back to his old spot. My 4 yr old angel kept reminding us when we were planning
for our Christmas week as to what would happen to Kevin grandpa. She literally
helped us plan that we would all go together and offer our first meal to him.
And nothing else has made me so fulfilled at Christmas, ever. And blessed, I
should add. For I kept thinking about the “Babe in the manger”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That year of 2015 helped me learn how fake we have made our
world. We know that Christ comes to us in the homeless and the needy. However,
we like to satisfy ourselves by doing that little bit and then going ahead with
our plans. Kevin’s homelessness and that smile when we went together offering
him the meal that Christmas afternoon had taught a lesson that we always knew,
but never executed. And from then on to this day, the question has been “What
does Christ want of me this Christmas?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I look at my nativity scene to understand what it means, I
learn a number of beautiful messages. First of all, He was born in the manger. He
was born among the cattle that are used and ignored. He had connected with
Genesis where GOD had so lovingly made everything so beautiful and offered it
to Adam and Eve. He was born into a family to the most awesome of parents who
never doubted GOD’s direction in spite of not understanding the logic of it.
And they would do anything to obey HIS command. And then his very first guests
were the shepherds, not royalty. And even if the three kings arrived right
after birth, they were unique in spite of being royalty. They, even in their
royalty, looked out to GOD’s direction and word and followed. And for their
obedience, they had the honor to meet their King, born in a manger. It was loud
and clear to me. If I was looking for the true meaning of Christmas, I had to
find something between the manger and the cross. And with few days to go for
Christmas, I am eager to see how I can be blessed again this Christmas like
last year. And I wish a beautiful blessed Christmas to all of you. </div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-74761001600711056332016-12-05T18:50:00.000-08:002016-12-06T07:31:42.509-08:00The Joseph's who make Christmas possible<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When I walked into this month’s prayer meeting, little did I
know that I would find another Joseph? And I had wanted to write about this for
so long. But, maybe I needed to be inspired by another Joseph in order to adore
the one who made Christmas possible. Yes, dad of Jesus, which the world never
gave its due. Infact, it struck me profoundly last year when multiple times in
the homilies, he wasn’t even considered to be Jesus’ dad. So, this one is to
the millions of Joseph’s around the world who have never been recognized. </div>
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But, here is the story that inspired me to write this. </div>
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I saw
Raj, right up near the altar at the prayer meeting. So, I wondered if Veena,
his wife had returned because I knew that she had travelled to India to be with
her father who had been diagnosed with brain tumor and was operated upon. And
they have a wonderful daughter in Ivana. And Raj looked in his elements.
Therefore, I thought everything must have been amazingly fine. Nevertheless,
when the prayer session ended, I stopped by for a chat. And quickly I realized
that Veena had not yet returned for more than 2 months now. So, how did Raj
manage with Ivana? I knew he was a programmer who worked from home. I guess
that made it very easy. Nope. It was tough. He had to ensure that his work didn’t
suffer as he tried to ensure that Ivana’s hectic schedule was on the spot each
and every day. And he had to make sure that his 7 yr old would not miss her mom
in any way. Now, that’s tough at that age, especially, when one is talking
about an Indian mom. Dad has no chance most of the times. But, what struck me
was when he said that his daughter never complained. I agree that she is a
sweet heart. But, I want to give it to Raj today. Its not possible to maintain
that over 2 months. Especially, when one has not done it before. And when it
has been an emergency and the child has not had any time to prepare mentally.
That’s where the conversation turned to a very poignant moment. That through
adversity, God had given an opportunity to Raj and he had taken it whole
heartedly and done his best. It was GOD’s way of highlighting how wonderfully
gifted father, Raj was. Not just to others, but to himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when we brought this point up, we thought
about someone else. The one and only Joseph. The one who made Christmas
possible. And while we know how hard it was for Mary and she is the center for
all Christians, we don’t know anything about Joseph. Except, that when the
angel appeared to him and asked him to do exactly as told, without hesitation
he just did it. While we know that Mary moved around on a mule, all we know of
the carpenter Joseph was that he walked. And he walked quite some miles,
sometimes even crossed countries just to ensure that Jesus and Mary were safe. And then when the word was fulfilled, just disappeared into
wilderness. Never someone who wanted any spotlight on himself. He was happy
that Jesus and sometimes Mary had it on them. Its amazing that the Church has never given this amazing dad any recognition. But, maybe that's the Joseph, God wanted us to know and follow. </div>
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Every wonderful dad I have known
has been a Joseph including my very own. And I deeply wanted to ensure, for
once this Christmas, I could bring it to everybody's attention.
Because, without the Joseph's, Christmas is not possible.</div>
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Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-54891459665116617352016-11-13T14:09:00.002-08:002016-11-13T14:10:26.887-08:00Questions to the canvassing Catholics<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Almost everybody has had their say
on the US elections. I also have shared my thoughts with a couple of people and
to say the least I have been blamed for not being blessed by the Holy Spirit. I
am not a political person and I definitely would not be impacted a lot by who became
the President of the USA. But, I also need to voice a few thoughts because for
the first time I have realized that many will actually be adversely impacted by
who eventually became the president of USA. Trump, no doubt snatched victory
and I am sure he really worked hard for it. And from his point of view, he
deserved to win for just the amazing emotions that he was able to generate
among quite a number of people. And I have no qualms about those who went and
voted for him by considering carefully where their hearts belonged. There is no
doubt that Hillary did not appeal to many and carried quite a baggage for many
to surmount. </div>
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But, I was bothered about a group
of people who really came to canvas for Trump just when things were fading for
him in the last month. Yes, as analysis has now revealed that in the last
month, the single largest group that made his victory possible by voting for
him was the Catholics. I am not a man of statistics and numbers. And the one
major reason, which I actually found out from some of our friends, who vehemently
canvassed for Trump was that he would be the one delivering on the “Pro-Life”
issue. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I don’t grudge their cause. My wife
and I lost our first pregnancy the very day we knew we were pregnant. And the
mighty healing hand of GOD is how we healed and we now have 2 beautiful kids,
since. That should reveal how precious and delicate I consider life to be. Here
is where I like to challenge each one of those who canvassed in the name of GOD
and religion. Not those who exercised their franchise, but the ones who
actively canvassed, including the so many priests who could say it at the altar
where instead they should have been consecrating Jesus. My friends showed me
all literature as well as biblical prophecies as to why they made their
decision to support him wholeheartedly. They even found abundant words to make
Trump look honorable in every aspect, even insulting Pope Francis, who by the
way currently occupies the seat that Jesus bestowed upon Peter. Some even
forgave him and equated him to Mary Magdalene who became Jesus’ most reliable
confidante, even though she was a sinner. Little did they take into account
that Mary Magdalene washed away her sins at the feet of Jesus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Here is where they were wrong. For
one, they did not remember “ Do not take the name of the GOD in vain”. It’s the
first of the Ten Commandments. Where was it GOD’s work, when you take GOD’s own
cause and give the reigns to a Devil? Have we forgotten what happened to Adam
and Eve in the book of Genesis. Yes, they ate an apple. And by the way, it must
have been an amazing fruit because Eve even got it to Adam after she tasted it.
The problem was not the fruit that they ate but the fact that they had
disobeyed GOD inspite of HIM having given them everything. And that was the
beginning of the “Original Sin”. This is exactly why there are problems in this
world. And it has plagued the Catholic church too from time immemorial. Why Mr.
Trump does not even come close to Mary Magdalene is because he has never
repented for anything. And that is the main tenet to get to God’s kingdom of
heaven. To humbly and modestly accept one’s frailties and sins and put them at
the feet of Jesus, because HE no doubt will forgive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I am so much more looking forward to
Mr. Trump being a servant and being the repentant sinner. For there is no doubt
that just like Jesus does, I shall accept his being human too. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-7857421647633869182016-11-06T10:14:00.002-08:002016-11-06T10:14:45.906-08:00Faith brings hope, healing and something else<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In today’s world we are challenged in innumerable ways. And
marriage is one such institution that has incredible challenges which were not
there when my parents were married almost 45yrs ago. In the 9 yrs that my wife
and I have been married, I can safely vouch that our challenge started even
before our marriage day. But I know the one magic reason that will help us
survive any adverse situation challenging our marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Faith was, is and will always be the center
of our lives. I want to narrate one amazingly hopeless situation we were in
right upfront in our marriage. But for faith, we may never have recovered from
these jolts, but here we are feeling awesome as a family. The reason I want to
share this experience is because I need to share how hard GOD works in our lives and how little we realize it. And my hope is that everybody who reads this would reflect and recognize HIM in their lives.</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This story started the day of my marriage on Dec 22, 2007 to
a wonderful person in Priya. Priya was so grounded in her faith and so
connected to Jesus that until this day I am the 3<sup>rd</sup> person in our
marriage. Well, the first person in our marriage is Jesus and hence I could see
how we were so connected to each other. On our first night, I learnt that our
immediate future plans were different. Priya was inclined to have a number of
children, whereas I was more inclined towards consolidating my career and building
my family was secondary. I wasn’t perturbed by this as I thought that it was
more about her being a woman and me being a man. In just a couple of weeks
after our marriage, I left India to the USA to continue my postdoctoral studies
at Yale and Priya joined me a month later. Living in a small rented apartment,
far away from our loved ones, we set about building our little home hoping our
innumerable dreams would come true. But challenges started right away. In a
month, we realized that my postdoctoral salary was not sufficient to sustain
us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while we could barely survive
for now, it definitely would not help our future family. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, just after living together for 4 months,
Priya flew off to Columbus, Ohio, about 1000 miles away from where I was to
work for an insurance company. And thus started a game to collaborate our very
demanding jobs with marriage and future hopes. Every other weekend or two, one
of us would hop onto the plane, sometimes paying exhorbitant ticket fees in order
to spend a few hours with each other. And this continued for just less than two
years. But, deep within we had already learnt how much we loved each other and
how beautiful the institution of marriage was and we already started
entertaining the idea of having a child inspite of this difficult situation.</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But, a greater challenge was at hand. We realized that we were
at the precipice of being infertile given our very stressful lives. We started
working on this issue with our medical doctor with a fervent hope that with
time, we would overcome this challenge. Interestingly however, our pillar of
hope was not the medical intervention, but Jesus himself. We started to
strongly pray to HIM everyday, believing that GOD must have had a beautiful
plan for us. What that plan was and how HE would execute it, we did not know.
As time went on, and all our situations remaining the same, hope started
slipping away, especially to me. For someone who had not taken the issue of
fatherhood as a top priority for more than a year into marriage, I started
dreading of not becoming a dad, ever. And the fact that we were working far
apart did not help matters of the mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How would we settle down as a family if we were so far apart and meeting
for a couple of days a month?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had no
idea how we could overcome these challenges. While my faith was strong, I did
not understand GOD’s will and direction. And clearly things had to change as
this was not what I imagined our family path to be. And then appeared a sign.</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The company that Priya worked in Ohio allowed her to work
from home in Connecticut. Having lived almost couple of years apart, we
recognized the first sign for that GOD had started to work on us and we just
had to keep up our faith and work accordingly. And true to our faith, in just a
couple of months we had another miraculous news. In spite of our medical
symptoms persisting, we were pregnant. It happened over a Friday when Priya had
gone back to Ohio to attend to some urgent hectic work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She kept complaining of nausea even though
she had been fully healthy and well. And when she returned over the weekend and
her nausea became worse and persistent, we doubted if we were pregnant. We quickly
got in touch with the doctors and they confirmed that this was no fluke. They
were happy for us and we were ecstatic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And immediately my confidence soared to such heights that I broke a golden
rule. I wanted to share this news with our immediate families right away
instead of waiting a while. And when I called, I was surprised that instead of
great excitement, we were cautioned not to reveal this news until a couple more
months. I did not understand why nobody was as excited as me. This was the most
wonderful news. And happy news didn’t come often.</span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For Priya and me, this was a perfect story. We had gone
through a tough test right upfront our marriage and we had come out of it with
flying colors. And we had the best news ever. But, happy news does not last as
long as we want. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were right at the
top of the mountain waving out at the rainbow when a thunderbolt hit us and hit
us hard. The very next day after discovering our pregnancy and announcing to
our skeptical families back home, our pregnancy started going downhill. We started
having symptoms of miscarrying. And nothing helped. We rushed to the doctors
and they could do nothing but feel sorry for us. It was all over for us and
when we came back home all we had was eerie silence and tears. We were just
dumbstruck and had no idea how we could recover from this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just could not understand where our life
was heading. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The worst case was that we
had nobody to console us. I always knew that life was precious. But how
delicate it is, I had just experienced. </span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Having no answers to lift us up, we lay at home in darkness.
Nobody said a word. Tears kept welling. We were totally shattered and broken.
Even dawn was far away. So, we encouraged each other to say the prayer for the
night and retire to bed. It was best for the worst day of our lives to end
fast. When I got up to light the altar candle, I realized that amidst all the
grief I had forgotten Jesus. And it was then that HIS words started resonating
in my mind repeatedly. “Your faith has healed thee”. This was completely
against the emotions I was going through. Here we were dealing with the
greatest loss of our life ever and here was Jesus talking to me about being
healed. Luckily, for once I was patient. I had nothing to lose, but hold onto
these words and try to comprehend. And then it hit me. For the first time I
realized how GOD had all along heard our prayers and had got to work on our
lives. And when I shared this thought with Priya did we realize the power of
GOD and how strongly HE was working in our life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></div>
<b>
</b><div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We were
HEALED now. We were no longer barren. We had conceived. Yes, we were broken
this moment. But now we had our very own angel. We had found our peace. I was
once again climbing the mountain looking at the rainbow, this time more beautiful
than ever with an angel smiling above it. We named her Gabrielle. Now we were
as ready as ever to receive HIS blessings. And till this day, each and every
moment, we feel HIS blessings. We conceived in 5 months time, and again 3 years
later. Claire and Noah are our testimony that when we act out our faith, HE
never lets us down. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know that there
will be many difficult tests on our journey. But, one thing is for certain. In
our boat, just as the disciples experienced on the stormy seas, Jesus is present
and showing us the way. As long as we keep our faith in HIM, He will lift us up
time and again. That night, just like a parent puts his kid to bed, I felt HIS
hand and HIS lullaby. And I hear HIM and feel HIM ever since.</span></b></div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-70410831549525352352016-09-24T06:49:00.000-07:002016-09-24T07:14:37.465-07:00A special one for Dad<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<![endif]--> Today is a very special day. It’s a milestone day for my
dad. Today, the 24<sup>th</sup> September, is his 75<sup>th</sup> birthday. I
am very sure, knowing his nature that he will be wishing hard that tomorrow
comes fast so that he does not have to be center of attention. I am sure that
for every person in this world, their dads are the best ones ever. And its true
for me too for many many reasons. And today is the special day to celebrate
what he has been to me, my family and everybody he is connected to. And I won’t
be surprised if many never knew or acknowledged his little acts of selfless
giving. The reason being, he would never have claimed his worth at any point of
time and would have just moved on to the next thing.
<br />
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In the summer of 2015, I came a full circle to connecting
with his act of selfless compassion and dedication even though I was almost
10,000 miles away. My little daughter Claire was 3 yrs old and little Noah was
not yet one and wasn’t even standing on his own, let alone walk. I took upon
myself to take Claire to a summer camp far away from home where she would learn
ballet. Since the camp was for 2 hrs a day, I had to stay back with Noah
somewhere around the place and get Claire as soon as she was done and then go
ahead with the rest of the day with some other activity. Since I was going to a
new town that I was unfamiliar, I was nervous and I was unsure how I would also
deal with a 9 month old baby on my own. So, on the first day, I reached on time
to Claire’s camp, quickly got her signed in and then as I walked out, I had
this lingering question of what I would do with a 9 month old on a hot summer day
for the next 2 hrs. I started to drive back on the same way I came on, totally
blanked out. And, as I drove towards the town center, I saw a park. I decided to
try it out and so after parking my car, took Noah in his stroller. It was a
beautiful place. It had a corner flower park and a play area and a large
expanse with a number of beautiful big trees. But, there was something missing.
There was me and Noah and nobody else. And I was in a town I didn’t know much.
So, after spending time at different corners of the park with Noah in his stroller, I decided that since there was at least another hour, I would
experiment with Noah a little bit. So, I got him off his stroller and made him
stand up supporting the stroller and I waited to see what he would do next. Noah
looked around. He had been pushed around a lot that day just like any other day,
feeling helpless. He barely could stand on his feet. But, he held on to his
carriage tightly and moved in the direction he wavered. One step became two and
then four and then many. Baby Noah could not stop. He was doing something
himself with a lot of freedom. And, yes, he was strong enough to move his cart.
He had so much joy and a sense of achievement. It was his milestone that day
and he has never stopped ever since. And I was very proud of him. But, there
was nobody around me to sense my joy and sense of achievement.<br />
I had such a
tense start to my day. I had not known what to do. In my heart of hearts, I had
hoped everything would end fine and the day would end without incident. And
then I decided to get a little bolder. Before they were done, I rushed with
Noah, stealthily to Claire’s camp wanting to see how my little 3 yr old was
doing. I hadn’t realized that she was also having her first day of the camp and
may have been nervous. It was a new place to her and new people around. She may
also have felt like I did, tense about the unknown. I wanted to ensure that
Noah and I would not make her miss her sense of joy and pride of achievement.
And in the midst of moms and their little kids, I rushed to look through the
mirror as the camp was in its last minutes. And there I saw amongst the many
beautiful butterflies, one little precious one fluttering away her wings. I
could see a big grinning smile and a shriek here and there. But, then I saw
another thing. Every other time she went around, her eyes gazed to the big
mirror looking out if her papa was there. And I was, not only myself, but with
another bundle All excited and joyful, little Noah. And seeing us brought so
much energy out of her that it was a sight to behold. And I have never missed
another opportunity ever since to be there for both Noah and Claire . For, now
I had my pride of being a dad. </div>
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And as we did this day after day that week, I thought of my
dad. I was once a little kid and so was my sister. And my parents worked day
and night for they had a dream. A dream that was us both and they would not
stop. Somebody had to be there to pick us up after school and my mom could not
as she still was at school teaching. So, the onus was on my dad. And he had a very
hectic day at work. He would have gotten up at 1AM, when all of us were deep
asleep, to get to his work. And he would have gotten back at about 1PM when we
were still a couple of hours away from being done. He would be tired and
sleepy. And he couldn’t have gotten home. There was a little cemetery where
people were laid to rest. And my dad would wait for us day after day for at least
a couple of years, sleeping on one of the tomb stones, catching up on his sleep.
And then be there at the school gate for both of us. He never regretted doing this,
nor did he hesitate. And now I had understood why. Because greater than
everything else, he was proud of being a dad. And although nobody has ever
saluted him for such acts that he so selflessly did, I remember. Because for
his act of being a dad and doing it in the cemetery, I had the honor of being
in a beautiful park, full of trees and beautiful flowers. And even though it had
been years ago and even though we had been 10,000 miles apart, there had been a
connection. A connection of hearts. And for all of this, dad, if you are
feeling alone at any point of time, you should know, that Claire and Noah are
very very proud of their grandpa. And so am I. Happy special birthday, Da. May
GOD bless you many many more glorious ones.</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-69423118181165281932016-08-14T08:05:00.000-07:002016-08-14T08:05:02.302-07:00All prepared to receive<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I was on my way to New Jersey for
my first healing mass at our friend’s place. I was more skeptical than excited.
What were my wounds that I wanted Jesus to heal? What does HE want of me? And
our bustling summer activities gave no time to think. As the journey was long,
I and my wife got down to discuss regarding the youth ministry that we were
about to help moderate in a couple of hours. It was transfiguration Saturday,
but we were discussing the Sunday gospel with the kids and youth that related
to Jesus talking to his disciples about their preparation for HIS second
coming. What was Jesus trying to tell his disciples and through him, each one
of us? What was the meaning of transfiguration from Jesus’ point of view? Was
it that Jesus was getting so frustrated with the disciples as to what they
thought of him, that he had no option to have this amazing event where he was
in conversation with Moses and Elijah, confirming to his disciples that they
were with GOD himself? No, it didn’t seem that way, at least not the frustrated
tone I felt within me, although there was every opportunity to be frustrated
indeed. What could one expect of the fishermen, right? I looked at it
positively. Jesus was trying hard to make the disciples feel very special and
honored that GOD has chosen to spend HIS lifetime with them. He had chosen them
for HIS mission. And through them, HE had chosen each of us. I hoped this
message would come through when we spent the time with the youth. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
And right after the transfiguration,
HE tells them what HE expects of them when HE comes back again. And they don’t
get it. Just like each one of us, Peter actually thinks that HIS instruction
and message is for somebody else. Somebody else had to become responsible.
Somebody else had to mend their ways. And Jesus keeps telling them about how
much expectations HE has that they will do according to HIS instruction.
Otherwise, they will be punished, severely. And to think about what actually
happened. HE lays down HIS life for us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was now getting skeptical about how the
youth would interpret this gospel. I needed to be hopeful. Will they be like
Peter, thinking all that’s written in the Bible is for others? Well, I hadn’t
had a great time discussing this gospel with others before. Previously, I have
been at groups of adults and when this gospel has been thrown up for
discussion, I had come back home depressed. Because nobody accepted that any of
this is do-able in this world, given how the world has turned out to be. They
felt judged and they didn’t like it. And therefore, this gospel is not to be
taken literally and seriously. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
So, when we got into the youth
group discussion, which was very well lead by two wonderful youth, my fears came
through right away. When asked if they were prepared to receive Jesus when he
comes again, all of them said that they were unprepared. Trying to alert them, I
reminded them that Jesus tells them that they will be punished severely because
of their unpreparedness. But, they didn’t change their answer. They were being
honest. As I was thinking that we had hit a wall, we proceeded to discussing
the obstacles the youth faced that makes them unprepared to welcome Jesus. And
I am so glad they were so brutally honest. And in their honesty, I found hope. Their
answers ranged from their gadgets that prevent them from seeking Jesus to
Parents who force things upon them and not give them a chance to explore at
their own playful, joyful way, to the church itself that prevents them by being
ultra conservative and boring. They had tried finding Jesus by helping out at
the Sunday school and other missions, but they still felt they could do a lot
lot more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was amazing that the very
factors that should aid them in finding Jesus had become their obstacles? And
before finishing they resolved to pay more attention to the gospel and the
homilies at the church, say more rosaries and prayers and seek more
opportunities through which they can get closer to Jesus. And I have prayed an
entire week that they have literally managed to do all these things and more
and that their promises haven’t remained as intelligent words at a meeting. In
their honesty, I found hope that they would start recognizing just as I did for
myself that it was time for getting my relationship with Jesus stronger. That
was the start we needed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
But a big question arose from all
of this. Here I was faced with what Jesus exactly wants of me as he illustrates
through the various parables, signs and discourse throughout the bible. Yet,
here we were faced with a reality of being unable to put HIS mission into
action because of umpteen number of reasons. In most cases, the paths that
should have lead us to Jesus were actually taking us away from HIM. And by
analyses, as we aged we had resigned to the fact that it was impossible to do
what Christ was telling us to do and ended up doing things which we knew were
probably contrary to what Jesus wanted us to do. How could we change this
course? How could we do things that are pleasing to Jesus, in-spite of being mocked
at by our very own society? This bothered me through the week and I did not
know how to get an answer. But, faith is beautiful. “Ask and you shall receive”
I kept asking the question and I received answers from unlikely sources. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
One, my little 5 yr old daughter.
She has been an amazing link for me with Jesus. Two nights after the prayer
meeting, I was waiting on her to finish dinner. It was dark outside in our new
home and she had her back to the large window with expansive darkness outside.
And suddenly she moved away. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she
just felt afraid. As I was telling her that I was around and she was safe and
that I appreciated the fact that she was aware of her surroundings, she
immediately calmed down, not because of what I told her, but because she
instantly prayed to Jesus and told me HE will now take care of HIM. I was
stunned. All of this happened in just a minute and the turn of emotions was so dramatic
for me as an onlooker that I was deeply taken aback. What faith? How come I am
not so strong in-spite of knowing HIS abundant love for me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to probe further. The next day, out
of nowhere I asked her if she was prepared for Jesus’ second coming. She
instantly said “yes”. I asked her if she has done everything that Jesus has
asked of her and she said there were some things that she hadn’t. So, I reminded
her of the gospel and told her that Jesus has said that HE would punish those
who did not follow what HE asked of one to do. So, given that, does she still
believe that she could welcome Jesus the second time. Instantly, she said
“yes”. What if he points out to things she hasn’t done pleasing to HIM. She had
an answer to that too. She simply said that she would ask him to pardon her and
that she would correct those things immediately. A five year old had a very
simple answer. I am sure all of us had that answer too. But, we had not
preserved it and lost it as we grew up. We had lost that friendship with Jesus,
that ability to be humble, to request a second chance, to correct ourselves.
And we had forgotten that Jesus had himself shown time and again that HE was a
pardoning GOD. All HE wanted of us was to ask him. No wonder HE had said that
children are precious for he knows who is innocent and wise. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
This instance reminded me <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of the gospel when Jesus visited Mary and
Martha. When Martha went and tried to please HIM y trying to cook and clean,
all Mary did was to sit at HIS feet and listen to HIM. The consequence was, as
HE himself pointed out to Martha, that what Jesus wanted was not a wonderful
meal or a spotless house, etc, but a keen ear and a humble heart. And that’s
what I pray we would understand and turn back a page or pages where we were,
probably long long ago, when we were truly at the feet of Jesus. That’s when we
were all prepared to receive Jesus, no matter what, no matter when.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-49819567631123171232015-12-30T17:34:00.000-08:002015-12-30T17:34:00.014-08:00My New Year wishes story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Be the light you
want to see.</b></div>
<b>
</b><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Be the hope you
wish to be.</b></div>
<b>
</b><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Be the inspiration
you seek out loud.</b></div>
<b>
</b><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Make sure that
Jesus and you are proud.</b></div>
<b>
</b><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> The New Year is a day away. And this is
my wish for all of you and your families and friends. But, I have to tell the
most beautiful advent story of me and my family before the New Year dawns. And
when you have read it all, you would have known why.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When advent began, I wasn’t sure how our
family would spend this Christmas. We knew for sure a couple of things. We knew
that we would not have any of the extended family with us as we were far away
from them. And we also knew that since there was a lot on my wife Priya’s plate
at work, she would not be there in entirety with us. Priya and I however vowed
that we would make this Christmas the most meaningful one for the kids. How? We
left it to GOD and kept our hearts and mind open. This was going to be a
special Christmas for our littlest one, Noah. Last time, he was just 4 months
old and now a charming 16 month old, walking, running and chattering around.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> We began with a plan
for our nativity scene. It would be a big one this time and would be behind a
gated enclosure, thanks to Noah’s exhuberance. And our start was a small table
and 4 cardboard boxes. And it remained that way for the next 15 days. For in
between bad things started happening around us that dampened our spirits. First
the massacre in Paris followed by the San Bernardino incident that resulted in
killing of innocent people, filling communities with fear and hatred had found its
way into our day today lives. And all the discussion we were involved in was
all about hatred, revenge and killing the bad guys. It was not only all over
the news, but also in day today discussions around us. Welcoming baby Jesus was
nowhere in anybody’s mind. At least that’s what it seemed. The innocence of
Noah and Claire captured my attention. Something special had to happen to
change the mood. And it was left to Claire and Noah to provide that for us. The
event was Polar express event at Claire’s school, a Christmas event in which we
helped organize. That evening when we landed at the event, just to see Claire
and Noah ring in the Christmas spirit was a sight to behold. And then the very
next week when the two advent miracles happened (read my previous blog: Two
advent miracles), I could see that my family and myself were back in Christmas
mood. And as block by block our nativity scene took shape, and as Claire took
initiative to write personal greeting cards to each and every teacher and
classmate and as Noah kept laughing away making pretend cookies and artwork, I
was amazed at how beautiful Christmas could be only if all in a family had the
will to make it happen. I still had a question though. Will Santa be a part of
our Christmas? </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> And then a very
unfortunate event happened as we were moving into the last 10 days of
Christmas. Out of nowhere, grief had come to visit the community at St. Jerome,
our church in Norwalk. A very significant contributor to numerous activities at
St. Jerome passed away suddenly and it affected a number of them deeply as they
knew her very closely. I did not know her except that her name was the same as
my little daughter, Claire. As I gathered from many people who knew this
wonderful person, it so much reflected of the vibrancy that I saw in my little
Claire. And as we prayed for the departed soul and peace to her family, I came
to know that the funeral mass was set 3 days before Christmas, the same day as
our wedding anniversary. And the choir group that I was part of was singing for
this mass. The question in front of me was what I would choose. Would I go and
join the other members of my choir and sing? And if I did that, how would we
commemorate our wedding anniversary? Well, here is what happened. We all went
to the 9AM mass and rang in our anniversary. And then I stayed on to join the
choir for the funeral mass. And when I finally left church that day at about
11: 20 AM, I had peace within that I had chosen to do what the dear Lord would
have liked me to do. Again the healing I experienced at church that morning
allowed me to once again focus back on our Christmas. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> That night we were
almost all set with our nativity crib and as we started working on our
Christmas trees, I started to think of Santa again. I had never believed in Santa
ever. Why? Because I had always seen that Jesus and nativity were nowhere
around Santa that I saw. To me, Christmas was about baby Jesus and his family,
the angels, the shepherds, the cattle and the 3 kings, not Santa. But, now I
had decided to know about the real Santa, St. Nicholas. Yes, he came from a
very rich family. But, the grace and blessings of Jesus made him give
everything to others in need. And he became a saint because he gave his life to
the love of Jesus renouncing everything else. Knowing this, I decided that Santa
did have a place in our nativity too. And so did the Noah’s ark animals. And so
our crib had now turned out to be the best we had dished out ever. It lacked only
one thing, the poinsettias. We had 4 tiny ones at the window and it was far
from perfect. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> And then an awesome
incident happened. I had committed to helping out to decorate the church on Dec
23<sup>rd</sup>. So, in spite of me having to do a number of things on Dec 23<sup>rd</sup>,
including actually getting groceries home to cook the next day, I reached the
church expecting Sr. Agnes, who was to lead this. And I expected a couple more
gentlemen from my men’s ministry whom I knew. I had not known Sr. Agnes
personally and it was interesting she had asked Fr. David for 3 men to help
her. Anyways, I was excited because it was the first time I had ever helped
decorate the church for Christmas. Although I arrived 15 minutes early than I
was expected, I quickly realized that Sr. Agnes and a crew of 3 were already at
work with the poinsettias. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two of the
men were Joe and the third was a girl called Julia, who was daughter of one of
the Joe’s. In just a few minutes, I realized what was special about Sr. Agnes.
She was on a walker as she was at least in her late 80’s and was very precise.
Everything had to be in a certain place, at a certain angle. And she pretty
much was the boss of the show. And just as I was settling in, another person
came in to help and announced that his name was Joe. Now, we had 3 Joe’s out of
4 men and the joke went around that I had to change my name to Joe. And
throughout the next hour or so, as we all set out to do things as directed by
Sr. Agnes, I saw a number of people just drop in and help, without invitation.
It seemed they just knew that there was lot of help needed at the church and
they just dropped by the church to see what they could do. This was such an
amazing lesson to me because in my busy little world, where I sincerely hoped
that I would do my bit for Jesus, here I was finding out how its actually done.
And I kept feeling Jesus on the cross literally wanting me to learn a thing or
two that I had never done and feel good all the time. And two awesome things
happened next. Sr. Agnes chose me to place baby Jesus in the manger. And as
soon as she called out to me to do just that, I felt a great sensation within
me. Here I was for almost an entire month wanting to do something
extraordinarily special at Christmas and through various ways, here was a
moment that I was actually placing baby Jesus in our church crib. And to round
it off, when we came to the end of our job and were about to leave, Fr. David
asked each one of us to take one each of the extra poinsettias. And I happened
to get the biggest one, which incidentally would fit perfectly at the back of
our crib overlooking the manger. How much more awesome could this Christmas be? </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> Well, there was more
to come. Christmas eve mass was awesome beyond my imagination. I was in the
choir that sang beautifully throughout the mass. And Claire was part of the
nativity pageant throughout the mass and was quite an angel. Not to miss out on
mommy and Noah, they were all over the church, mommy running behind Noah and
once, Noah making it to the altar as the angels sat down beside the Holy family
and the shepherds. Well, he had identified that one of those angels was his own
sweet sister, Claire, and he wanted to give her a hug, right then and there.
Apart from this, I had noticed something at the beginning of the mass that I
had not expected. Sr. Agnes was sitting in the front row. She had told us the
previous day that she would not be at this mass but would be at the previous
one. I was surprised. When we had finished everything and walked back to the
car after all the wishing, mom and Claire went back to give back the angel
costume as Noah and I settled into the car waiting for them. And in a few
minutes, mommy was running to the car asking me to hurry to the other side of
the church as she had found Sr. Agnes without a ride. What a wonderful gift. We
happily dropped off Sr. Agnes at her residence that night. The story goes that
Sr. Agnes had actually sat through our mass as she had no ride to take her back
from the previous mass. And she had enjoyed our mass too. And Fr. David was to
ride her back home in spite of his tight schedule as he had been unable to find
somebody to help her that night. Until, of course that my dearest wife
intervened. All these events added to the beauty of our Christmas and each one of
our family was soaking in the enormous blessings that we were experiencing, one
after another.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> We went a step
further. We went to mass the next day, the Christmas day as we wanted to thank
Jesus abundantly. And when we came back, the first thing we did was to pack our
family lunch and walk all the way to the park in front of our condominium where
we were greeted by a homeless man we had found, Kevin. We had decided that no
matter what we would ensure that on Christmas day, we would share our Christmas
with Kevin and we did. And to see him smiling at us and feeling grateful and
telling us over and over again that he would make sure that he would have every
bit of our meal made me proud of my family as we walked back. And then we had 3
days of family and friends visiting us and filling our lives with enormous love
and laughter, not to mention the gifts that they brought in spite of being told
not to.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> What I have learnt
this Christmas is no matter what the situation, ensure the ideals for which
Jesus came into this world: Peace, Joy, Equality, Humility, Forgiveness,
Brotherhood. And if I and my family were not putting in a real effort to go against
the tide of sadness, hatred, fear and indifference, then our Christmas would
have been confined to a routine Christmas day beyond which we would have felt a
void in our hearts and loneliness . And we would not have known why? And as I
wish to continue into the New Year with the same spirits, I wish the same to
all of you too and your families. Make the New Year a beautiful one, filled with
peace, joy, brotherhood, equality, humility and forgiveness that you give to
one and all around you. Be the light you want to see. Be the hope you wish to
be. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be the inspiration you seek out
loud. Make sure that Jesus and you are proud.</b></div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-77489225588241079412015-12-09T07:08:00.002-08:002015-12-09T08:57:47.208-08:00Two advent miracles<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I have always believed in miracles. Have I shared as many
with others? Probably no as I have never been confident that others would
understand how I see something as a miracle. And I hate being mocked. Not any
more. The reason is we live in a world where I see more and more people hate
each other. Even to the point of persecuting the very fragile amongst us. And the
rest live in fear that they will have to deal with it at their door soon. And
hence in this kind of our situation, we have no time to look at little
beautiful things that happen to us and celebrate them and share them with
others. And life becomes meaningless and insecure each day. Being aware of a
miracle that may happen every other week, if not every other day is very
important. And that is why I want to share this with as many as I can. Because
there are two very important facets of our lives that money can’t ever buy. Everlasting
peace and love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I became aware of two miracles just this past week. On Dec 1<sup>st</sup>,
I was getting my daughter Claire home from school and our conversation went to
her Christmas pageant practice. It was just a couple of weeks away <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I was eager to know how it was
progressing. She announced that the characters for Mother Mary and St. Joseph
had been finalized. I was eager to know if she was going to be Mother Mary, but
it wasn’t the case. I knew that Claire wanted to be Mother Mary and so I told
her that every other character of the nativity scene, be it the animals, the
angels or the shepherds were all important. Then I told her that she still will
have other opportunities to be Mother Mary and she should keep her interest open
and go for it when the opportunity knocks. I knew in my heart that it may
actually not be the case, but I felt it important to console her. And silently
prayed to Mother Mary and Jesus to provide for it. That Saturday, we were going
for the monthly prayer meeting of the OITS group. Although the group meets
every month and is very vibrant, we could only make it to December as we could
not travel far with the kids and our own schedules. As we were driving, our conversation
came to the kids pageant that was generally part of the meeting in December and
I told Claire to take an active part. I didn’t want to raise expectations, but
I knew she was too shy to play Mother Mary and I thought she would not play it
herself even if it was offered to her. Anyways, I had no role in deciding those
aspects. But, again, in my heart I said a prayer to Mother Mary and Jesus
asking them to give her the strength to play that role if it came to her. We
were there at the meeting and Claire was an active participant singing away and
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>saying her prayers. And I was deep in
prayer too with little Noah in tow. And then the time came for kids to go inside and prepare their
short skit as the elders reflected on the gospel. Claire passed by me happily
and I glanced at her and wished her well. And continued with my reflections. A
few minutes passed by and somebody told that the kids were ready and coming in
for the skit. As I completed the reflection, I just gazed towards the door
where the kids would be coming in. And at this point, I had forgotten all about
Claire playing Mother Mary or angel or shepherd. There were plenty of children
there and I would have been fine with anybody playing those roles. They would
all be doing it so well. And then something caught my eye that left me
dumbfounded. I saw that beautiful little shy girl smiling away and she had this
beautiful while veil and a blue flowing dress. Yes, she was playing Mother Mary
and she marched right by me and for the next few minutes, even though shy,
played the role to her best in front of so many people, many of whom she didn’t
know. And as I kept applauding her and others, I had to acknowledge what had
happened. A beautiful advent miracle. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here
was my shy little girl who had always wanted to be Princess Elsa from Frozen
for the past 2 yrs who had for once wanted to be Mother Mary. Here were mom and dad who
had silently prayed for it, hoping against hope. And it had happened more
beautiful than we would ever have expected. And our shy little girl who would
generally freeze when she was in front of unknown people had essayed her role so
beautifully. </div>
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Well, if one miracle a season is a beautiful thing and I was basking in it, tuesday came
and it was a day of Immaculate conception of Mary, a day of obligation. Claire
was at home and there were a lot of things to do. Claire had a dentist
appointment and we had grocery shopping to do and then Claire had to go
swimming. So, going to mass became a challenge and kept being pushed to late
evening. And everything started to go wrong. First, we decided that Claire and
I would go to Church as mom worked from home taking care of Noah. But, mom got an emergency call
and could not get her work computer going. So, she had to go to office and we
had to cancel going to mass. And I always freak out when things change
abruptly. As I hurried to drop mom to work, I was totally stressed and told mom
that we would not think about church until evening. After dropping her, as we
were coming home and I was still stressed and trying to salvage our plans for
the day. Suddenly, I realized I was about to be in an accident. A truck almost
hit me coming in from nowhere. I swerved and saved ourselves. And decided to
get calm as I was driving with 2 kids. We came home and had our breakfast,
talked home in India and then went to pick up mommy to go to the dental
appointment for Claire. Again an accident almost happened as a truck shifted
lane without any indication and again I had to be alert. Now, I was waiting for
the third one. As we reached the doctor, I was happy everything was in one
piece. But, then another crazy thing happened. Our appointment was not for that
day. We had got everything wrong. I was party to the confusion too because I
had not checked the time and date too. So, given that everything was going
wrong, I sat down in the car waiting and decided to look at masstimes.org. And
then I found a mass we could all go to at noon. As we drove, I reflected on
what had just happened. After the mass, all my stress had gone. And I shared
the miracle that had just happened with my family. Since morning we had tried two things. We
were either going to church not as one family but splitting up. And our other
plan was to go after all our errands were run. But, GOD had a plan for us. He
kept alerting us through those little signs to go as a family to mass first. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting back at home, I realized how beautiful it felt to
realize that we were part of two miracles. And here I am waiting for more to
happen as I am aware of GOD’s presence every moment leading us. And I am hoping
after reading this each one of you would also look forward to GOD’s leading in
your life and most importantly share it. Everlasting peace and love to all.</div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-76555613376094096442015-08-19T18:41:00.004-07:002015-08-19T18:41:51.492-07:00Precious Creator and delicate life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Two weeks ago I took my daughter Claire for a ballet class
and waited outside with my Angelo when I read a poster on a jeep that read “I
AM AN ATHEIST”. I knew it belonged to a ballet teacher and it brought a wave of
thoughts of how in this amazing world with all the wonders that man did not
create including himself could one be an atheist. In today’s society it’s sad
that one has to prove one’s faith. I looked back at my own life and the many
times GOD touched me and others around me. The real issue what plagues the
society of today is the fact that we are not brought up knowing GOD when we are
very young. And then as we grow up, we will never get it unless He is deeply
embedded within us. Today’s world has so many distractions for all ages that I
am well assured there is no space for GOD. And those who propagate evil
advocating it as GOD’s commandment denigrate it further. This goes beyond and
beneath all religions. </div>
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Let me give some illustrations. After about 19 yrs, there
was a verdict in the Uphaar fire tragedy and the guilty were let loose. A
mother who lost two kids in that tragedy said that she lost faith for the
second time, this time in judiciary. She had lost faith in GOD when the tragedy
struck. The paradox was apparent. How was the fragility of life, GOD’ fault?
Don’t many of us hold Him for ransom everyday in our prayers and give Him our wish
lists. What if He doesn’t oblige?</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> A beautiful scene
enacted before us this summer that brought me face to face with the fascinating
yet fragile life. It was the first day of summer holidays for Claire and I took
both her and Noah to the beach very early. Not many were at the beach and the
waters were still. We had no plan apart from a walk on the beach. As we walked
along the banks there lay a crab shell and I answered Claire’s many questions saying
that crab were sea gull’s food. She immediately prayed for that crab’ soul and
we moved on. As we entered water, I pointed to a sea gull flying in and we saw
it pick a live crab from the sea and feast on it. Again Claire prayed and I was
feeling nervous of what my kids were watching and learning. Just then, we saw a
crab leave the waters and walk onto the shore and as we were anticipating a sea
gull grab it, something dramatic happened. The crab realized danger, withdrew
quickly back onto the sea and embedded itself into sand and kept only its claws
out. I just realized that what I thought was a bed of stones and sand was
actually tons and tons of live shells and life including crabs. This little
episode not only showed the fragility of life, but the beauty of God's creation
simply around us. It just needs us to be there to spend some time to be
mesmerized. </div>
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I believe in evolution, but I am not adamant to believe that life
so complex, so tender, so majestic yet so vulnerable is not a blessing from
God. The only reason I see in why people are so adamant is because at some
level we humans want to believe that we can create everything from scratch and
modify however we want and yet be selfish enough not to give any credit to others. Yes, I believe human brain is capable of amazing deeds
and because of GOD’s creation. I hope we can teach ourselves and our children
to co-exist with faith and science instead of constant conflicts because that
will only result in wasting precious time looking around at wonder in peace.</div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-3845568915465794142015-06-20T16:23:00.000-07:002015-06-20T16:23:07.356-07:00Living Lent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Why would Jesus love kids? I never tried to understand until this happened. Ever since Claire was born, my wife and I had made it
a point to keep talking to her about Jesus and the bible. We knew that one day
she would understand. Little did I know Jesus’ plan for me. It was me who
needed to know something very profound. Just after she turned 3 in 2014, we
visited the Lourdes shrine at Litchfield. She had for the first time realized
that Jesus had died on Good Friday and risen up on Easter Sunday and she had a
number of questions about it. After the liturgy, I took Claire on top of the
hillock where the 14 stations of cross are set up. My wife, who was pregnant
with Noah, stayed back. At each station, I explained what happened to Jesus.
She kept asking me if the other men in the statues were “bad men”. I kept
telling her what I knew and how many people did not understand Jesus when he
was alive. Finally, we reached the twelfth station where Jesus gave up his
breath on the cross and at his feet Mother Mary was weeping and was with John,
his disciple. I asked Claire to say a small prayer. My wife had taught her to
say a personal prayer everyday for some time now and she was always spontaneous
and honest. She said “Dear Jesus, Forgive me for doing this. I will not do it
again”. I was shocked. When all of us were pointing fingers accusing others of
a bad deed, a 3 year old had owned up and asked forgiveness in a very simple
way. A teaching moment had just become a learning moment for me. What
astonished me was the beautiful bond Claire had formed with Christ that she
could spontaneously speak to him like she did. I sincerely wish we could do the
same. I recollect one of my favorite teacher, Rex D'Souza telling us not to point a finger
at somebody because the other four fingers would be pointed towards oneself. I pray
that although it is hard for us to own up our sins against Jesus, and that
in our deeds, we keep sacrificing him time and again, it's never too late to change. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me Lent had changed that
moment. Through Claire, Jesus had taught me to be part of it.</div>
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Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-14253262643605229692015-06-07T17:00:00.000-07:002015-06-07T18:24:10.494-07:00Little Claire and Dad's best moment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I have to share this moment with as many people as I can,
because this was the most profound moments of my life so far. And I dare say I
have had so many. And I thank GOD for each one of them. For a long long time,
probably ever since I have known this as a child, I have never understood why
people hate other people so much as to persecute them. And in the past couple
of years, especially since the arab spring, it has been so heart wrenching for
me to hear about how man has gone about killing others of his own kind and
there haven’t been anybody to stop this. It has affected me more because I
think about the future of my little kids and deep in my heart, as every other
dad and mom want, want a world for them that is safe and beautiful, filled with
joy and peace. And I am petrified by what is happening not only far away from
home, but also by incidents close by. </div>
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And it is in this background, my 4 year old daughter gave me
this amazing and touching experience that left me speechless. On that day, she
had graduated from pre-k3 and we had been to school for a small ceremony and to
say goodbye to friends and teachers for the summer. It had been her first year
at school and I didn’t know how she would react. Would she be extremely
emotional or would she not understand? This kept running in my mind. And for
the next 3 months, I wondered how I could help her overcome this void of not
having her friends and teachers that she had become so close. In the evening, I
took her to her gym class and she was very happy doing all those fun exercises.
She seemed normal and the day seemed like any other. And after the class, we
jumped into the car to go and get mommy from work. It was going to be a 15
minute ride through a scenic route and I thought that as usual she would just
take a nap as I drove that way. </div>
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And as I started to drive and little Noah took his nap,
Claire spoke. “ Dad, I want to tell you something”. I said, “ What is it
Claire?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“ Dad, I love everybody who
loves me….and everybody in America.” “ That’s wonderful, Claire”. “ And dad, I
love everybody from other countries too”. And I thought she was trying to
compensate for her grandparents and other family back in India. So, I said “
That’s still wonderful, Claire”. And she continued… “ And I love my daddy and
mommy and baby brother”. “We love you too, Claire”. “ But, dad, I also love
those who don’t like me. I will love those who will scream at me. I will love
those who hit me”. Now, that suddenly gave me goose bumps. I had tears in my
eyes. I started thinking of why she was saying all this. Did something happen
to her? Did anybody hit her or scream at her and I didn’t know? But, I would
have known. Claire would have definitely told me. She was a 4 year old with no
secrets. And after a small pause I asked her gently, “ Claire, why are you
saying these things”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“ Because dad, I
want to love everybody. I want everyone to know that. Jesus told me so. He died
on the cross for us and he still loved everybody. He didn’t run away. He
happily died on the cross. Dad, I love Jesus”. </div>
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These words were so profound, so touching, I could only be
silent. And I only wished each one of us, including me could keep saying that. And
little Claire had said it in such simple words, without any provocation,
without any hesitation. I had no hesitation, but to thank GOD for this moment.
I knew he was speaking to me through her. And he wants everyone to know this
through me. I am a proud father and still I have to ensure and acknowledge how
beautifully GOD speaks to us. Thank GOD, I listened to you through what Claire
said. Amen.</div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6275689933693816343.post-42767422133962925572015-05-28T06:53:00.000-07:002015-05-28T06:53:03.342-07:00Custom catholics<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Fr. David, our amazing pastor is very happy. Its not even a
REACH Sunday and yet the congregation numbers at the family mass outnumber the
choir members. This is no exaggeration, but happens in one of the best churches
in our state of Connecticut that has an amazing set of priests and devoted set
of mostly retired devotees. And it happens not just once a year, but on most
summer Sundays, whenever religious education is not there and on days like Good
Friday. Of course, I must admit that on days like Christmas or easter vigil we
need to get to church at least 45 minutes before the mass because there would be
no parking space and no seats available. </div>
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One of the most striking contrasts is
when we went back to Bangalore to celebrate my daughter Claire’s birthday with
family and friends. Since it was a Tuesday, we decided to go to 6.30AM mass on
her birthday. And as we entered the church 10 minutes early, and this was almost 6
yrs since I had been there, I saw 2 little girls, probably in their 3<sup>rd</sup>
grade in full school uniform and unaccompanied by elders coming and kneeling on
the first pew and attending mass before they went to school. The
church was filled by atleast 300 people and a great number of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>them were attending daily mass just before
setting out for work or college or school. Today as this vision entered and I started
to think about it, I thought of a very compelling analogy. Last summer, my
daughter turned 3 and I decided to teach her how to grow plants. So, as family,
we went to Walmart and got some tomato seeds, some pots and some soil. This
would be a wonderful way, my wife and me thought of introducing Claire to
nature, GOD’s most beautiful creation in our small apartment home. We were all
very excited that the packet of seeds said that we would bear fruit in 60 days.
I had grown tomato plants back home in my amazing garden and at the back of my
mind, that was a little too fast, but, I was excited for Claire. And what an
amazing start we had. In just about 5 days, the tomato seeds had germinated and
Claire was so excited and so were we. We kept watering the plants and in a few
day the two-leaved plants grew a little. But, then in the 10 days, even though
the plants looked healthy, they barely grew. I went and checked the soil and
realized, that this soil would ensure germination in no time, but that was it.
For the plants to grow, I needed to constantly add “Magic Grow” every week. The
next few weeks was an amazing experiment. Every time we added magic grow, the
plants would just grow like crazy and when we deliberately stopped it for a
week, they would just freeze. Now we had pretty large plants, yet no indication
of flowers. I again checked the details on the internet and realized that with
the soil I had used and magic grow, I could get the plants to grow abundantly,
but then for flowering I needed to use a different soil mixture. We went and
brought the flowering soil mix. The summer was almost getting over and no
flowers were around. After a couple of weeks, I excitedly woke up Claire as I
had noticed the first bud. And it almost took a couple more weeks for it to
bloom. By now I realized that I had not prepared well for the experiment. I had
sowed seeds not in early spring, but in Summer and then I had not realized that
in order to bear flowers, I had to used differently customized soils. By now,
winter had set in and there was no longer hope for any tomatoes. I also
realized, that given our apartment structure that allowed no insects, there
would anyway be no tomatoes because we had barred the agents of GOD, the
pollinators. No flowers, no fruit was how our beautiful experiment ended. </div>
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And
in this way I recognized the beauty of Jesus’ parable of sowing the seed. It is
not enough that one is born catholic. Even the seed that falls amidst the
thorny plants will germinate. But will it flower and produce. And in our own
little experiment, we had seen how we had customized everything such that if
even one thing was not in order, the beauty of GOD’s creation would fail. </div>
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Today, the need is not for a custom catholic. We should
be far from that. Its not enough to have such a busy life and make it to mass on
Christmas eve or Easter Sunday and feel good about ourselves as catholic. If
the little envelopes with which we contribute money to run the church gets
done, that would surely not be enough either.. We need to realize that when we go to Church, we meet the
LIVING CHRIST, who came down for us and died for us and rose for us. And
every time we go to church, we are there for a personal meeting with Christ,
risen and alive and waiting for us. Every time we miss the opportunity, we are
so not catholic that we need to be.</div>
</div>
Anthony D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01068444669700758321noreply@blogger.com2