Questions to the canvassing Catholics

Almost everybody has had their say on the US elections. I also have shared my thoughts with a couple of people and to say the least I have been blamed for not being blessed by the Holy Spirit. I am not a political person and I definitely would not be impacted a lot by who became the President of the USA. But, I also need to voice a few thoughts because for the first time I have realized that many will actually be adversely impacted by who eventually became the president of USA. Trump, no doubt snatched victory and I am sure he really worked hard for it. And from his point of view, he deserved to win for just the amazing emotions that he was able to generate among quite a number of people. And I have no qualms about those who went and voted for him by considering carefully where their hearts belonged. There is no doubt that Hillary did not appeal to many and carried quite a baggage for many to surmount.

But, I was bothered about a group of people who really came to canvas for Trump just when things were fading for him in the last month. Yes, as analysis has now revealed that in the last month, the single largest group that made his victory possible by voting for him was the Catholics. I am not a man of statistics and numbers. And the one major reason, which I actually found out from some of our friends, who vehemently canvassed for Trump was that he would be the one delivering on the “Pro-Life” issue.

I don’t grudge their cause. My wife and I lost our first pregnancy the very day we knew we were pregnant. And the mighty healing hand of GOD is how we healed and we now have 2 beautiful kids, since. That should reveal how precious and delicate I consider life to be. Here is where I like to challenge each one of those who canvassed in the name of GOD and religion. Not those who exercised their franchise, but the ones who actively canvassed, including the so many priests who could say it at the altar where instead they should have been consecrating Jesus. My friends showed me all literature as well as biblical prophecies as to why they made their decision to support him wholeheartedly. They even found abundant words to make Trump look honorable in every aspect, even insulting Pope Francis, who by the way currently occupies the seat that Jesus bestowed upon Peter. Some even forgave him and equated him to Mary Magdalene who became Jesus’ most reliable confidante, even though she was a sinner. Little did they take into account that Mary Magdalene washed away her sins at the feet of Jesus.

Here is where they were wrong. For one, they did not remember “ Do not take the name of the GOD in vain”. It’s the first of the Ten Commandments. Where was it GOD’s work, when you take GOD’s own cause and give the reigns to a Devil? Have we forgotten what happened to Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis. Yes, they ate an apple. And by the way, it must have been an amazing fruit because Eve even got it to Adam after she tasted it. The problem was not the fruit that they ate but the fact that they had disobeyed GOD inspite of HIM having given them everything. And that was the beginning of the “Original Sin”. This is exactly why there are problems in this world. And it has plagued the Catholic church too from time immemorial. Why Mr. Trump does not even come close to Mary Magdalene is because he has never repented for anything. And that is the main tenet to get to God’s kingdom of heaven. To humbly and modestly accept one’s frailties and sins and put them at the feet of Jesus, because HE no doubt will forgive.

I am so much more looking forward to Mr. Trump being a servant and being the repentant sinner. For there is no doubt that just like Jesus does, I shall accept his being human too.

Faith brings hope, healing and something else

In today’s world we are challenged in innumerable ways. And marriage is one such institution that has incredible challenges which were not there when my parents were married almost 45yrs ago. In the 9 yrs that my wife and I have been married, I can safely vouch that our challenge started even before our marriage day. But I know the one magic reason that will help us survive any adverse situation challenging our marriage.  Faith was, is and will always be the center of our lives. I want to narrate one amazingly hopeless situation we were in right upfront in our marriage. But for faith, we may never have recovered from these jolts, but here we are feeling awesome as a family. The reason I want to share this experience is because I need to share how hard GOD works in our lives and how little we realize it. And my hope is that everybody who reads this would reflect and recognize HIM in their lives.

This story started the day of my marriage on Dec 22, 2007 to a wonderful person in Priya. Priya was so grounded in her faith and so connected to Jesus that until this day I am the 3^rd person in our marriage. Well, the first person in our marriage is Jesus and hence I could see how we were so connected to each other. On our first night, I learnt that our immediate future plans were different. Priya was inclined to have a number of children, whereas I was more inclined towards consolidating my career and building my family was secondary. I wasn’t perturbed by this as I thought that it was more about her being a woman and me being a man. In just a couple of weeks after our marriage, I left India to the USA to continue my postdoctoral studies at Yale and Priya joined me a month later. Living in a small rented apartment, far away from our loved ones, we set about building our little home hoping our innumerable dreams would come true. But challenges started right away. In a month, we realized that my postdoctoral salary was not sufficient to sustain us.  And while we could barely survive for now, it definitely would not help our future family.  So, just after living together for 4 months, Priya flew off to Columbus, Ohio, about 1000 miles away from where I was to work for an insurance company. And thus started a game to collaborate our very demanding jobs with marriage and future hopes. Every other weekend or two, one of us would hop onto the plane, sometimes paying exhorbitant ticket fees in order to spend a few hours with each other. And this continued for just less than two years. But, deep within we had already learnt how much we loved each other and how beautiful the institution of marriage was and we already started entertaining the idea of having a child inspite of this difficult situation.

But, a greater challenge was at hand. We realized that we were at the precipice of being infertile given our very stressful lives. We started working on this issue with our medical doctor with a fervent hope that with time, we would overcome this challenge. Interestingly however, our pillar of hope was not the medical intervention, but Jesus himself. We started to strongly pray to HIM everyday, believing that GOD must have had a beautiful plan for us. What that plan was and how HE would execute it, we did not know. As time went on, and all our situations remaining the same, hope started slipping away, especially to me. For someone who had not taken the issue of fatherhood as a top priority for more than a year into marriage, I started dreading of not becoming a dad, ever. And the fact that we were working far apart did not help matters of the mind.  How would we settle down as a family if we were so far apart and meeting for a couple of days a month?  We had no idea how we could overcome these challenges. While my faith was strong, I did not understand GOD’s will and direction. And clearly things had to change as this was not what I imagined our family path to be. And then appeared a sign.

The company that Priya worked in Ohio allowed her to work from home in Connecticut. Having lived almost couple of years apart, we recognized the first sign for that GOD had started to work on us and we just had to keep up our faith and work accordingly. And true to our faith, in just a couple of months we had another miraculous news. In spite of our medical symptoms persisting, we were pregnant. It happened over a Friday when Priya had gone back to Ohio to attend to some urgent hectic work.  She kept complaining of nausea even though she had been fully healthy and well. And when she returned over the weekend and her nausea became worse and persistent, we doubted if we were pregnant. We quickly got in touch with the doctors and they confirmed that this was no fluke. They were happy for us and we were ecstatic.  And immediately my confidence soared to such heights that I broke a golden rule. I wanted to share this news with our immediate families right away instead of waiting a while. And when I called, I was surprised that instead of great excitement, we were cautioned not to reveal this news until a couple more months. I did not understand why nobody was as excited as me. This was the most wonderful news. And happy news didn’t come often.

For Priya and me, this was a perfect story. We had gone through a tough test right upfront our marriage and we had come out of it with flying colors. And we had the best news ever. But, happy news does not last as long as we want.  We were right at the top of the mountain waving out at the rainbow when a thunderbolt hit us and hit us hard. The very next day after discovering our pregnancy and announcing to our skeptical families back home, our pregnancy started going downhill. We started having symptoms of miscarrying. And nothing helped. We rushed to the doctors and they could do nothing but feel sorry for us. It was all over for us and when we came back home all we had was eerie silence and tears. We were just dumbstruck and had no idea how we could recover from this.  We just could not understand where our life was heading.  The worst case was that we had nobody to console us. I always knew that life was precious. But how delicate it is, I had just experienced.

Having no answers to lift us up, we lay at home in darkness. Nobody said a word. Tears kept welling. We were totally shattered and broken. Even dawn was far away. So, we encouraged each other to say the prayer for the night and retire to bed. It was best for the worst day of our lives to end fast. When I got up to light the altar candle, I realized that amidst all the grief I had forgotten Jesus. And it was then that HIS words started resonating in my mind repeatedly. “Your faith has healed thee”. This was completely against the emotions I was going through. Here we were dealing with the greatest loss of our life ever and here was Jesus talking to me about being healed. Luckily, for once I was patient. I had nothing to lose, but hold onto these words and try to comprehend. And then it hit me. For the first time I realized how GOD had all along heard our prayers and had got to work on our lives. And when I shared this thought with Priya did we realize the power of GOD and how strongly HE was working in our life. 

We were HEALED now. We were no longer barren. We had conceived. Yes, we were broken this moment. But now we had our very own angel. We had found our peace. I was once again climbing the mountain looking at the rainbow, this time more beautiful than ever with an angel smiling above it. We named her Gabrielle. Now we were as ready as ever to receive HIS blessings. And till this day, each and every moment, we feel HIS blessings. We conceived in 5 months time, and again 3 years later. Claire and Noah are our testimony that when we act out our faith, HE never lets us down.  We know that there will be many difficult tests on our journey. But, one thing is for certain. In our boat, just as the disciples experienced on the stormy seas, Jesus is present and showing us the way. As long as we keep our faith in HIM, He will lift us up time and again. That night, just like a parent puts his kid to bed, I felt HIS hand and HIS lullaby. And I hear HIM and feel HIM ever since.

A special one for Dad

     Today is a very special day. It’s a milestone day for my dad. Today, the 24^th September, is his 75^th birthday. I am very sure, knowing his nature that he will be wishing hard that tomorrow comes fast so that he does not have to be center of attention. I am sure that for every person in this world, their dads are the best ones ever. And its true for me too for many many reasons. And today is the special day to celebrate what he has been to me, my family and everybody he is connected to. And I won’t be surprised if many never knew or acknowledged his little acts of selfless giving. The reason being, he would never have claimed his worth at any point of time and would have just moved on to the next thing.

     In the summer of 2015, I came a full circle to connecting with his act of selfless compassion and dedication even though I was almost 10,000 miles away. My little daughter Claire was 3 yrs old and little Noah was not yet one and wasn’t even standing on his own, let alone walk. I took upon myself to take Claire to a summer camp far away from home where she would learn ballet. Since the camp was for 2 hrs a day, I had to stay back with Noah somewhere around the place and get Claire as soon as she was done and then go ahead with the rest of the day with some other activity. Since I was going to a new town that I was unfamiliar, I was nervous and I was unsure how I would also deal with a 9 month old baby on my own. So, on the first day, I reached on time to Claire’s camp, quickly got her signed in and then as I walked out, I had this lingering question of what I would do with a 9 month old on a hot summer day for the next 2 hrs. I started to drive back on the same way I came on, totally blanked out. And, as I drove towards the town center, I saw a park. I decided to try it out and so after parking my car, took Noah in his stroller. It was a beautiful place. It had a corner flower park and a play area and a large expanse with a number of beautiful big trees. But, there was something missing. There was me and Noah and nobody else. And I was in a town I didn’t know much. So, after spending time at different corners of the park with Noah in his stroller, I decided that since there was at least another hour, I would experiment with Noah a little bit. So, I got him off his stroller and made him stand up supporting the stroller and I waited to see what he would do next. Noah looked around. He had been pushed around a lot that day just like any other day, feeling helpless. He barely could stand on his feet. But, he held on to his carriage tightly and moved in the direction he wavered. One step became two and then four and then many. Baby Noah could not stop. He was doing something himself with a lot of freedom. And, yes, he was strong enough to move his cart. He had so much joy and a sense of achievement. It was his milestone that day and he has never stopped ever since. And I was very proud of him. But, there was nobody around me to sense my joy and sense of achievement.
     I had such a tense start to my day. I had not known what to do. In my heart of hearts, I had hoped everything would end fine and the day would end without incident. And then I decided to get a little bolder. Before they were done, I rushed with Noah, stealthily to Claire’s camp wanting to see how my little 3 yr old was doing. I hadn’t realized that she was also having her first day of the camp and may have been nervous. It was a new place to her and new people around. She may also have felt like I did, tense about the unknown. I wanted to ensure that Noah and I would not make her miss her sense of joy and pride of achievement. And in the midst of moms and their little kids, I rushed to look through the mirror as the camp was in its last minutes. And there I saw amongst the many beautiful butterflies, one little precious one fluttering away her wings. I could see a big grinning smile and a shriek here and there. But, then I saw another thing. Every other time she went around, her eyes gazed to the big mirror looking out if her papa was there. And I was, not only myself, but with another bundle All excited and joyful, little Noah. And seeing us brought so much energy out of her that it was a sight to behold. And I have never missed another opportunity ever since to be there for both Noah and Claire . For, now I had my pride of being a dad.

     And as we did this day after day that week, I thought of my dad. I was once a little kid and so was my sister. And my parents worked day and night for they had a dream. A dream that was us both and they would not stop. Somebody had to be there to pick us up after school and my mom could not as she still was at school teaching. So, the onus was on my dad. And he had a very hectic day at work. He would have gotten up at 1AM, when all of us were deep asleep, to get to his work. And he would have gotten back at about 1PM when we were still a couple of hours away from being done. He would be tired and sleepy. And he couldn’t have gotten home. There was a little cemetery where people were laid to rest. And my dad would wait for us day after day for at least a couple of years, sleeping on one of the tomb stones, catching up on his sleep. And then be there at the school gate for both of us. He never regretted doing this, nor did he hesitate. And now I had understood why. Because greater than everything else, he was proud of being a dad. And although nobody has ever saluted him for such acts that he so selflessly did, I remember. Because for his act of being a dad and doing it in the cemetery, I had the honor of being in a beautiful park, full of trees and beautiful flowers. And even though it had been years ago and even though we had been 10,000 miles apart, there had been a connection. A connection of hearts. And for all of this, dad, if you are feeling alone at any point of time, you should know, that Claire and Noah are very very proud of their grandpa. And so am I. Happy special birthday, Da. May GOD bless you many many more glorious ones.

All prepared to receive

I was on my way to New Jersey for my first healing mass at our friend’s place. I was more skeptical than excited. What were my wounds that I wanted Jesus to heal? What does HE want of me? And our bustling summer activities gave no time to think. As the journey was long, I and my wife got down to discuss regarding the youth ministry that we were about to help moderate in a couple of hours. It was transfiguration Saturday, but we were discussing the Sunday gospel with the kids and youth that related to Jesus talking to his disciples about their preparation for HIS second coming. What was Jesus trying to tell his disciples and through him, each one of us? What was the meaning of transfiguration from Jesus’ point of view? Was it that Jesus was getting so frustrated with the disciples as to what they thought of him, that he had no option to have this amazing event where he was in conversation with Moses and Elijah, confirming to his disciples that they were with GOD himself? No, it didn’t seem that way, at least not the frustrated tone I felt within me, although there was every opportunity to be frustrated indeed. What could one expect of the fishermen, right? I looked at it positively. Jesus was trying hard to make the disciples feel very special and honored that GOD has chosen to spend HIS lifetime with them. He had chosen them for HIS mission. And through them, HE had chosen each of us. I hoped this message would come through when we spent the time with the youth.

And right after the transfiguration, HE tells them what HE expects of them when HE comes back again. And they don’t get it. Just like each one of us, Peter actually thinks that HIS instruction and message is for somebody else. Somebody else had to become responsible. Somebody else had to mend their ways. And Jesus keeps telling them about how much expectations HE has that they will do according to HIS instruction. Otherwise, they will be punished, severely. And to think about what actually happened. HE lays down HIS life for us. 

 I was now getting skeptical about how the youth would interpret this gospel. I needed to be hopeful. Will they be like Peter, thinking all that’s written in the Bible is for others? Well, I hadn’t had a great time discussing this gospel with others before. Previously, I have been at groups of adults and when this gospel has been thrown up for discussion, I had come back home depressed. Because nobody accepted that any of this is do-able in this world, given how the world has turned out to be. They felt judged and they didn’t like it. And therefore, this gospel is not to be taken literally and seriously. 

So, when we got into the youth group discussion, which was very well lead by two wonderful youth, my fears came through right away. When asked if they were prepared to receive Jesus when he comes again, all of them said that they were unprepared. Trying to alert them, I reminded them that Jesus tells them that they will be punished severely because of their unpreparedness. But, they didn’t change their answer. They were being honest. As I was thinking that we had hit a wall, we proceeded to discussing the obstacles the youth faced that makes them unprepared to welcome Jesus. And I am so glad they were so brutally honest. And in their honesty, I found hope. Their answers ranged from their gadgets that prevent them from seeking Jesus to Parents who force things upon them and not give them a chance to explore at their own playful, joyful way, to the church itself that prevents them by being ultra conservative and boring. They had tried finding Jesus by helping out at the Sunday school and other missions, but they still felt they could do a lot lot more.  It was amazing that the very factors that should aid them in finding Jesus had become their obstacles? And before finishing they resolved to pay more attention to the gospel and the homilies at the church, say more rosaries and prayers and seek more opportunities through which they can get closer to Jesus. And I have prayed an entire week that they have literally managed to do all these things and more and that their promises haven’t remained as intelligent words at a meeting. In their honesty, I found hope that they would start recognizing just as I did for myself that it was time for getting my relationship with Jesus stronger. That was the start we needed. 

But a big question arose from all of this. Here I was faced with what Jesus exactly wants of me as he illustrates through the various parables, signs and discourse throughout the bible. Yet, here we were faced with a reality of being unable to put HIS mission into action because of umpteen number of reasons. In most cases, the paths that should have lead us to Jesus were actually taking us away from HIM. And by analyses, as we aged we had resigned to the fact that it was impossible to do what Christ was telling us to do and ended up doing things which we knew were probably contrary to what Jesus wanted us to do. How could we change this course? How could we do things that are pleasing to Jesus, in-spite of being mocked at by our very own society? This bothered me through the week and I did not know how to get an answer. But, faith is beautiful. “Ask and you shall receive” I kept asking the question and I received answers from unlikely sources. 

One, my little 5 yr old daughter. She has been an amazing link for me with Jesus. Two nights after the prayer meeting, I was waiting on her to finish dinner. It was dark outside in our new home and she had her back to the large window with expansive darkness outside. And suddenly she moved away. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she just felt afraid. As I was telling her that I was around and she was safe and that I appreciated the fact that she was aware of her surroundings, she immediately calmed down, not because of what I told her, but because she instantly prayed to Jesus and told me HE will now take care of HIM. I was stunned. All of this happened in just a minute and the turn of emotions was so dramatic for me as an onlooker that I was deeply taken aback. What faith? How come I am not so strong in-spite of knowing HIS abundant love for me?  I decided to probe further. The next day, out of nowhere I asked her if she was prepared for Jesus’ second coming. She instantly said “yes”. I asked her if she has done everything that Jesus has asked of her and she said there were some things that she hadn’t. So, I reminded her of the gospel and told her that Jesus has said that HE would punish those who did not follow what HE asked of one to do. So, given that, does she still believe that she could welcome Jesus the second time. Instantly, she said “yes”. What if he points out to things she hasn’t done pleasing to HIM. She had an answer to that too. She simply said that she would ask him to pardon her and that she would correct those things immediately. A five year old had a very simple answer. I am sure all of us had that answer too. But, we had not preserved it and lost it as we grew up. We had lost that friendship with Jesus, that ability to be humble, to request a second chance, to correct ourselves. And we had forgotten that Jesus had himself shown time and again that HE was a pardoning GOD. All HE wanted of us was to ask him. No wonder HE had said that children are precious for he knows who is innocent and wise. 

This instance reminded me  of the gospel when Jesus visited Mary and Martha. When Martha went and tried to please HIM y trying to cook and clean, all Mary did was to sit at HIS feet and listen to HIM. The consequence was, as HE himself pointed out to Martha, that what Jesus wanted was not a wonderful meal or a spotless house, etc, but a keen ear and a humble heart. And that’s what I pray we would understand and turn back a page or pages where we were, probably long long ago, when we were truly at the feet of Jesus. That’s when we were all prepared to receive Jesus, no matter what, no matter when.